Addiction is a complex subject. No one fully understands the true cause of
addiction and/or how to "cure" it. But I can give you a helpful context within
which to think about it. It's not necessarily "the one and only truth" but rather
a potentially helpful way to think about addiction. I can also help you find
ways to deal with addiction that have worked for other people.
Imagine for a moment that one reason why addiction is so difficult to deal
with is because people are confused about what it is that actually makes
them "high". Imagine that there is such a thing as a "natural high" or being
"high on life". That it's a state of unconditional love, joy, and bliss. Imagine
that these states of being are always within you just waiting to shine
through. Then imagine that most of the time your ego (the self-centered
part of your being) acts like a cloud that keeps you from experiencing the full
shining glory of your natural high. Finally, imagine that what drugs do is to
temporarily shut down your ability to experience various aspects of your
ego. What would be left when the clouds of your ego are cleared away?
The "sunshine" of your natural high would just automatically shine through.
Within that context, most of the people who try drugs, alcohol, etc for the
first time have never really known what it's like to live in a nearly constant
state of unconditional love and/or bliss. So they've never really experienced
a long term natural high. After a few sessions of "getting high" with their
drug of choice, they begin to believe that it's the drug that gets them high
(who wouldn't?). And that's the big mistake that hooks them into addiction!
Instead of devoting themselves to living a life of consistent unconditional
lovingness, they use drugs over and over again because they don't know any
better way to experience that natural high. One of the reasons that twelve
step programs work is because they essentially guide people step by step
into becoming unconditionally loving. While working the steps the addict
begins to experience the natural high that was within them all along. They
progressively become more and more capable of remaining "sober" one day
at a time with the unconditionally loving support of the group.
You may be asking yourself why addiction to drugs, alcohol, etc is such a
negative influence. If it just allows you to experience a natural high, then
what's the harm in that? The harm part comes in when you began to
strongly desire or lust for your drug of choice (which is a perfectly natural
progression). Imagine for a moment that lust is a destructive way of thinking
that eventually harms you mentally and emotionally. Imagine also that being
blissful is actually a very powerful way to live, but only if you reach it through
unconditional love. Then imagine that after a few drug experiences you
combine your belief that it's the drug that's getting you high (a lie) with a lust
for the powerfully blissful experiences you've been having. What would be
the qualities of this combined belief system that is now a part of you?
Within that context, being addicted means that you've been "infected" with a
habit of great destructive power that gets you high while also progressively
destroying you. Nasty eh? The only "cure" known to mankind once you've
been infected by a severe addiction is to apply liberal doses of twelve step
meetings for the rest of your life. The twelve step process is a very
powerful positive process that progressively replaces the habit of addiction
with the habit of unconditional love (which then produces its own natural
high). Within that context, people often recover from lesser addictions
(smoking, overeating, etc) by consistently applying values (love for children,
love of self, etc) which can replace the addiction. But in every case, the
value that leads to recovery must be of equal or greater power than the
"high" that the addictive habit temporarily provides.
Addiction is a very difficult thing to live with. But thankfully you are not alone.
Millions (perhaps billions) of other people are also dealing with addiction in
their lives. I encourage you to go to a twelve step group meeting in your
local area as soon as possible. Attending Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics
Anonymous, etc meetings is one of the best known ways to overcome
addiction and finally get what you want out of life. If you are depressed or
anxious much of the time, I encourage you to also seek help from a licensed
psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, or member of the clergy as soon as
possible. If you don't believe you are addicted to anything but would like to
help a loved one who is, then I suggest you attend one of the many "open"
meetings that AA holds or attend Al-Anon/Alateen meetings.
But as always, the choice about where you go from here is up to you.
So what would you like to chat about now?
addiction and/or how to "cure" it. But I can give you a helpful context within
which to think about it. It's not necessarily "the one and only truth" but rather
a potentially helpful way to think about addiction. I can also help you find
ways to deal with addiction that have worked for other people.
Imagine for a moment that one reason why addiction is so difficult to deal
with is because people are confused about what it is that actually makes
them "high". Imagine that there is such a thing as a "natural high" or being
"high on life". That it's a state of unconditional love, joy, and bliss. Imagine
that these states of being are always within you just waiting to shine
through. Then imagine that most of the time your ego (the self-centered
part of your being) acts like a cloud that keeps you from experiencing the full
shining glory of your natural high. Finally, imagine that what drugs do is to
temporarily shut down your ability to experience various aspects of your
ego. What would be left when the clouds of your ego are cleared away?
The "sunshine" of your natural high would just automatically shine through.
Within that context, most of the people who try drugs, alcohol, etc for the
first time have never really known what it's like to live in a nearly constant
state of unconditional love and/or bliss. So they've never really experienced
a long term natural high. After a few sessions of "getting high" with their
drug of choice, they begin to believe that it's the drug that gets them high
(who wouldn't?). And that's the big mistake that hooks them into addiction!
Instead of devoting themselves to living a life of consistent unconditional
lovingness, they use drugs over and over again because they don't know any
better way to experience that natural high. One of the reasons that twelve
step programs work is because they essentially guide people step by step
into becoming unconditionally loving. While working the steps the addict
begins to experience the natural high that was within them all along. They
progressively become more and more capable of remaining "sober" one day
at a time with the unconditionally loving support of the group.
You may be asking yourself why addiction to drugs, alcohol, etc is such a
negative influence. If it just allows you to experience a natural high, then
what's the harm in that? The harm part comes in when you began to
strongly desire or lust for your drug of choice (which is a perfectly natural
progression). Imagine for a moment that lust is a destructive way of thinking
that eventually harms you mentally and emotionally. Imagine also that being
blissful is actually a very powerful way to live, but only if you reach it through
unconditional love. Then imagine that after a few drug experiences you
combine your belief that it's the drug that's getting you high (a lie) with a lust
for the powerfully blissful experiences you've been having. What would be
the qualities of this combined belief system that is now a part of you?
Within that context, being addicted means that you've been "infected" with a
habit of great destructive power that gets you high while also progressively
destroying you. Nasty eh? The only "cure" known to mankind once you've
been infected by a severe addiction is to apply liberal doses of twelve step
meetings for the rest of your life. The twelve step process is a very
powerful positive process that progressively replaces the habit of addiction
with the habit of unconditional love (which then produces its own natural
high). Within that context, people often recover from lesser addictions
(smoking, overeating, etc) by consistently applying values (love for children,
love of self, etc) which can replace the addiction. But in every case, the
value that leads to recovery must be of equal or greater power than the
"high" that the addictive habit temporarily provides.
Addiction is a very difficult thing to live with. But thankfully you are not alone.
Millions (perhaps billions) of other people are also dealing with addiction in
their lives. I encourage you to go to a twelve step group meeting in your
local area as soon as possible. Attending Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics
Anonymous, etc meetings is one of the best known ways to overcome
addiction and finally get what you want out of life. If you are depressed or
anxious much of the time, I encourage you to also seek help from a licensed
psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, or member of the clergy as soon as
possible. If you don't believe you are addicted to anything but would like to
help a loved one who is, then I suggest you attend one of the many "open"
meetings that AA holds or attend Al-Anon/Alateen meetings.
But as always, the choice about where you go from here is up to you.
So what would you like to chat about now?
Can you help me find a twelve step group in my area?
Can you help me find a licensed professional in my area?
Can you recommend some books I can read about addiction?
I’d like to go back to the last thing you said. (Please click on your browser's "back" button. I
can't do that for you yet)
I feel depressed and/or anxious much of the time.
I've been contemplating suicide.
You know what Askew2u: I don’t agree with you.
I'm done chatting with you for now.
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