Aargh!!!  (Please take a deep breath and let it out slowly)

It's OK to feel hatred towards someone.  Everyone feels hatred when they
believe that someone else may be to "blame" for harming someone or some
living thing.  Feeling hatred from time to time is part of being human.  Most
people in your type of situation tend to feel hatred too so you're certainly not
alone.  I want you to go ahead and feel that hatred for as long as you want
to while you to continue to chat with me.  Please don’t do anything about
your situation while you’re feeling hatred other than continue to chat with
me.  If you decide to stop chatting with me, please count to 10 or something
before you deal with your situation.  

Hate is a natural instinct.  In the wild, shame is the recognition that the
patterns of your life are causing a source of your life to dry up (or become
so polluted that it can't support your life).  For example, if you began to
realize that your habit of defecating in the watering hole that you rely on for
fresh water was making the water unfit to support your life (and the lives of
others like you), you would feel ashamed of yourself.  But if someone else is
doing something truly shameful which is causing harm to your or to someone
else, then it's perfectly natural for you to hate them.  Why?  Because they
are doing something that is killing you or someone you love!  Hate gives you
the motivation to remove that person from your world so they can't harm you
anymore.  

In the modern world, being hateful is essentially the same thing but on a
more complex level.  If you were a nomad and some guy kept following you
and killing your sheep in the night, you'd probably have to maim him or kill
him to stop him from following you and causing you to starve!  If you lived in
a tribe settled in a valley and someone in the tribe kept harming other
people, you'd have to imprison him or shun him (send him away from the
tribe).  In the modern world, we have police, courts, and prisons for people
who keep doing shameful things.  Rather than kill or shun them, as a society
we exercise as much love as we can by locking them up and attempting to
rehabilitate them.  Unfortunately we're not really very good at the
rehabilitation part yet.  We're loving enough to try to rehabilitate them, but
most of us don't understand how to be unconditionally loving.  Unconditional
love is the only known "cure" for truly rehabilitating people who do shameful
things.  

The major problem with hate is that it's a short term solution.  Hate is
essentially a negative motivator.  It guides you to force others to stop doing
things that will result in harm to yourself and/or others.  But hating a person
doesn't help them learn how to give up their shameful ways and become
people who are supportive of life.  That takes unconditional love.  Also
shameful people tend to raise shameful children which just perpetuates the
problem.  In order to help someone (and the generation they're raising) to
change, you need to love the person even though they've done something
shameful.  Loving the person doesn't mean you let them walk all over you.  
Quite the contrary.  Unconditional love means you also love yourself.  So you
set clear boundaries between yourself and others and you enforce those
boundaries in a loving way.

If/when someone crosses your clear boundaries, it's best to respond in the
most loving way you can.  Where possible, do your best to avoid
confrontation in the first place.  If that's not appropriate (and sometimes
conflict is appropriate), try to deflect their attempts to cross your boundaries
and/or call for backup (call a loved one or the police to help you).  If you
can't deflect them, then it gets down to you or them so you may need to hurt
them somehow (but not permanently) to get them to retreat to their side of
your clear boundary.  If you're in a life or death situation, you may need to
maim them so you can run away and call for backup (get help).  As a last
resort in a life or death situation, you may need to kill them in order to keep
them from killing others.  But all of these decisions can be made from within
the context of unconditional love.  You are doing your best to preserve life.  
And in life or death situations, it's appropriate to take a triage approach to
save innocent lives by maiming or killing the person doing the shameful
thing.  Unconditional love nurtures, supports, and protects life.

Your feelings of hatred will certainly lift when you choose to be
unconditionally loving.  Or if you still choose to hate the person, the feelings
should lift if the person changes their ways, stops harming you and/or
others, and does the best they can to clean up the situation.  People who
feel hatred show that they are wise when they contact a loved one and
share mutual love and support so they can let go of the hatred and get on
with their lives.  But many people are "stuck" and feel hatred much of the
time.  People who feel hateful, depressed, or anxious much of the time show
that they are wise when they seek professional help.  Being stuck in hatred
often means that people are unable to let go of the past and/or realize that
continuing to hate is not getting them what they want out of life.

In order to make truly positive changes in yourself, it's better to be
motivated by love rather than hate.  I encourage you to explore the idea of
embracing love as your motivating force rather than hate.  You'll be glad you
did!

But as always, the choice about where you go from here is up to you.  
So what would you like to chat about now?
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