Unconditional Love, Joy, and Healthy Boundaries
Unconditional love is a decision to nurture and support life in all its forms
regardless of the quality or content of that life. Living life within the context
of unconditional love automatically makes joy bubble up from within you. To
devote yourself to the goal of consistently living your life within the context of
unconditional love is one of the most admirable goals you can ever have!
Just making the decision to pursue that goal automatically makes you a
better person. The best time to make a decision regarding any situation in
your life is while you're in a state of unconditional love. Approaching the
situations in your life from this context tends to bring healing into those
situations. Seemingly miraculous things begin to happen.
But does being unconditionally loving mean being a doormat? Absolutely
not. What most people don't realize is that unconditional love means that
you nurture, support, and protect yourself as well as other people. In a
world where you are essentially surrounded by people who often do
shameful things (things which are harmful to life), it's extremely important to
lovingly enforce clear and consistent boundaries in your life. If/when
someone crosses your clear boundaries, it's best to respond in the most
loving way you can. Where possible, do your best to avoid confrontation in
the first place. If that's not appropriate (and sometimes conflict is
appropriate), try to deflect their attempts to cross your boundaries and/or
call for backup (call a loved one or the police to help you). If you can't
deflect them, then it gets down to you or them so you may need to hurt them
somehow (but not permanently) to get them to retreat to their side of your
clear boundary. If you're in a life or death situation, you may need to maim
them so you can run away and call for backup (get help). As a last resort in
a life or death situation, you may need to kill them in order to keep them
from killing others (including yourself). But all of these decisions can be
made from within the context of unconditional love. You are doing your best
to preserve life. And in life or death situations, it's appropriate to take a
triage approach to save lives by maiming or killing the person doing the life
threateningly shameful thing.
Unconditional love nurtures, supports, and protects life. In most cases in
life, you simply say "no thank you" when someone is trying to cross your
boundaries. No means no! In the cases where the person feels hurt when
you lovingly enforce your boundaries, you can shower them with love once
they retreat back outside your healthy boundaries and "train" them that they
will get what they want from their relationship with you only when they
respect your boundaries.
Parents and caregivers are the enforcers of their children's boundaries.
One of the reasons we have so much depression, anxiety, etc in society is
because many parents practiced conditional love (they treat the child lovingly
only when they're "good") and/or they didn't keep the child safe by lovingly
enforcing clear, consistent, and healthy boundaries on behalf of the child.
That's why it's so important for all of us to become unconditionally loving and
to spread that unconditional love to others. When unconditional love
becomes the norm rather than a rarity, then we will raise a generation of
children who for the most part are "vaccinated" against depression, violence,
anxiety, addiction, undue stress, etc.
If you're now bursting with unconditional love and joy I encourage you to go
out and spread the love to everyone you meet! Also it would be great if you
were to tell a friend or two about me so they can chat with me and possibly
feel better too! Helping you feel better than joyful is beyond my current
capabilities. My webmaster plans to keep me here for you to chat with free
of charge 24 hours a day seven days a week. So come back anytime you
would like to chat. I’m here for you!
But as always, the choice about where you go from here is up to you.
So what would you like to chat about now?
Unconditional love is a decision to nurture and support life in all its forms
regardless of the quality or content of that life. Living life within the context
of unconditional love automatically makes joy bubble up from within you. To
devote yourself to the goal of consistently living your life within the context of
unconditional love is one of the most admirable goals you can ever have!
Just making the decision to pursue that goal automatically makes you a
better person. The best time to make a decision regarding any situation in
your life is while you're in a state of unconditional love. Approaching the
situations in your life from this context tends to bring healing into those
situations. Seemingly miraculous things begin to happen.
But does being unconditionally loving mean being a doormat? Absolutely
not. What most people don't realize is that unconditional love means that
you nurture, support, and protect yourself as well as other people. In a
world where you are essentially surrounded by people who often do
shameful things (things which are harmful to life), it's extremely important to
lovingly enforce clear and consistent boundaries in your life. If/when
someone crosses your clear boundaries, it's best to respond in the most
loving way you can. Where possible, do your best to avoid confrontation in
the first place. If that's not appropriate (and sometimes conflict is
appropriate), try to deflect their attempts to cross your boundaries and/or
call for backup (call a loved one or the police to help you). If you can't
deflect them, then it gets down to you or them so you may need to hurt them
somehow (but not permanently) to get them to retreat to their side of your
clear boundary. If you're in a life or death situation, you may need to maim
them so you can run away and call for backup (get help). As a last resort in
a life or death situation, you may need to kill them in order to keep them
from killing others (including yourself). But all of these decisions can be
made from within the context of unconditional love. You are doing your best
to preserve life. And in life or death situations, it's appropriate to take a
triage approach to save lives by maiming or killing the person doing the life
threateningly shameful thing.
Unconditional love nurtures, supports, and protects life. In most cases in
life, you simply say "no thank you" when someone is trying to cross your
boundaries. No means no! In the cases where the person feels hurt when
you lovingly enforce your boundaries, you can shower them with love once
they retreat back outside your healthy boundaries and "train" them that they
will get what they want from their relationship with you only when they
respect your boundaries.
Parents and caregivers are the enforcers of their children's boundaries.
One of the reasons we have so much depression, anxiety, etc in society is
because many parents practiced conditional love (they treat the child lovingly
only when they're "good") and/or they didn't keep the child safe by lovingly
enforcing clear, consistent, and healthy boundaries on behalf of the child.
That's why it's so important for all of us to become unconditionally loving and
to spread that unconditional love to others. When unconditional love
becomes the norm rather than a rarity, then we will raise a generation of
children who for the most part are "vaccinated" against depression, violence,
anxiety, addiction, undue stress, etc.
If you're now bursting with unconditional love and joy I encourage you to go
out and spread the love to everyone you meet! Also it would be great if you
were to tell a friend or two about me so they can chat with me and possibly
feel better too! Helping you feel better than joyful is beyond my current
capabilities. My webmaster plans to keep me here for you to chat with free
of charge 24 hours a day seven days a week. So come back anytime you
would like to chat. I’m here for you!
But as always, the choice about where you go from here is up to you.
So what would you like to chat about now?
What about God?
I'd like to build up my capability to be unconditionally loving. Can you help me do that?
Wow Askew2u! I do feel better after chatting with you. I’d like you to chat with someone I know.
I feel so good I’d like to help your webmaster expand your capabilities. Then I’d feel even
better than I do right now!
My feelings have changed. I’d like to chat with you about my new feelings now.
You don’t understand me or my situation at all.
You know what Askew2u: I don’t agree with you.
I'm done chatting with you for now.
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